When I was a young girl, I aspired to follow in my father's footsteps and become a police officer who could serve and protect the community. However, after graduating from high school, I struggled in college and eventually decided to join the United States Marine Corps.
I really enjoyed my boot camp experience...well kinda! I found a great sense of camaraderie with my platoon mates; each of whom was a young female like me. We all transitioned into living in a structured environment where loyalty and having each other's backs came naturally.
I underwent military police training with the USMC Detachment at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas, where I was trained in daily military defensive and offensive exercises. This training, along with the spirit of the Marines, resulted in the development of a skilled and proficient military police officer. The training was tough, as male Marines showed no mercy towards their female counterparts, but it was a necessary part of the process. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I have become a resilient person thanks to those experiences.
My male squad leaders supported, motivated, and inspired me in ways I would have never thought possible, and my Marine Corps experience became the catalyst for my future success. Our USMC mantra, “Semper Fi,” influenced me then and continues to guide me today:
“Always faithful to myself, my Corps, my Country, and my God.”
This reflects a core value as a United States Marine Corps roughneck that I will remain faithful to others and pursue with courage a personal and professional life of which I can be proud.
Following my years of military service, many life changes came to shape my values even more. I experienced good times and times of learning – deep, extensive learning.
I found myself navigating many of the joys that come with fully adulting in the world, like getting married and having children, but also the struggles, losing my firstborn child after his fourth open-heart surgery as well as the aftermath of divorce.
I moved back to central Illinois to try and piece my life back together again, only to experience added brokenness and loneliness following my boyfriend’s suicide and my brother’s passing.
Through all of this give and take, however, I had learned, deeply and extensively, that life is both exhilarating and tiring. The former would always outweigh the latter, though, because of the people with whom God has filled my life.
In July 1995, my daughter Shayelle turned five years old. We often engaged in many conversations then that centered on what she wanted to be when she grew up. I recall those discussions reflecting her innocence, but also her belief that she could do and be whoever and whatever she wanted. When she said she wanted to be a professional baseball player, I responded with, “Yes! Go for it!”
When Shayelle got a little older, I shared with her the idea of taking in all of what’s “out there,” emphasizing the importance of setting her sights on what fills her heart and sets her soul on fire. Regardless of what career she would choose, the important message I hoped she would always hear loud and clear was to give whatever she does everything she’s got while being her authentic self.
Those early conversations with my oldest daughter led to the creation of I Want to Be Just Me, a book I “sorta-kinda” published in 1998 for a school project. I was enrolled in a teacher education program and thought this would be perfect for an introduction to my first education course. Its theme, “Be yourself, your authentic self,” is exactly what I wanted to share with others, most especially with kids.
Shayelle was eventually blessed with two little sisters, Delani and Korrie. All three of my daughters have since grown up to be strong, confident, kind, and goal-oriented young women. I could write all day long about the joys of raising three girls, but I’ll save that for later.
One thing rang true and steadfast, however, throughout their upbringings. As Mom, I was ALWAYS committed to ensuring my girls grew up knowing that they could be whatever they wanted. They had the intelligence, demeanor, confidence, and grit to go for the gold, dream big, and achieve whatever goals they chose to pursue.
Admittedly, it wasn’t always easy. In fact, the kid-rearing experience can be quite difficult, and some do it better than others. Those others, like my husband and me, often end up with some hefty challenges along the way. But we made it through, and the rewards we reap now from the incredible outcomes with our three girls made it so worth it!
In fact, every time I think about my girls, I remember the importance of living life authentically. It wasn’t until I reflected on my own life experiences fully again, however, that I realized the importance of putting my book, I Want to Be Just Me, into professional print and practice, so that I can share the importance of living a life of authenticity even further. With everyone. Or at least everyone willing to listen.
One particular experience comes to mind that helped bring me to that realization. It was during my enrollment in “The Principalship,” a required course for obtaining school leadership credentials.
I loved this class and its professor. Let me say that again: I loved this class and its professor.
However, on the final day of this course, I was pulled aside.
The professor of this class that I loved told me that she believed I would make an exceptional school leader. BUT, if I wanted a seat at the interview table, I should highly consider:
Hmmm…
I thought about her words. I wasn’t angry after hearing these suggestions; in fact, it was quite the contrary. I was grateful. I knew she had my best interests at heart. But after listening intently and thanking her profusely, I kindly responded:
“Not a chance in the world! No way will I sacrifice myself by turning into someone else simply to get a seat at the table. Nope. Not happening.”
And so, my story of leadership and the motivation for publishing this book were now set in full motion…
I Want to Be Just Me is now available, and I hope you check it out.
Its theme is a mindset that both children and adults can master. It’s the idea that you are free to dream and free to wonder.
I really enjoyed my boot camp experience...well kinda! I found a great sense of camaraderie with my platoon mates; each of whom was a young female like me. We all transitioned into living in a structured environment where loyalty and having each other's backs came naturally.
I underwent military police training with the USMC Detachment at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas, where I was trained in daily military defensive and offensive exercises. This training, along with the spirit of the Marines, resulted in the development of a skilled and proficient military police officer. The training was tough, as male Marines showed no mercy towards their female counterparts, but it was a necessary part of the process. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I have become a resilient person thanks to those experiences.
My male squad leaders supported, motivated, and inspired me in ways I would have never thought possible, and my Marine Corps experience became the catalyst for my future success. Our USMC mantra, “Semper Fi,” influenced me then and continues to guide me today:
“Always faithful to myself, my Corps, my Country, and my God.”
This reflects a core value as a United States Marine Corps roughneck that I will remain faithful to others and pursue with courage a personal and professional life of which I can be proud.
Following my years of military service, many life changes came to shape my values even more. I experienced good times and times of learning – deep, extensive learning.
I found myself navigating many of the joys that come with fully adulting in the world, like getting married and having children, but also the struggles, losing my firstborn child after his fourth open-heart surgery as well as the aftermath of divorce.
I moved back to central Illinois to try and piece my life back together again, only to experience added brokenness and loneliness following my boyfriend’s suicide and my brother’s passing.
Through all of this give and take, however, I had learned, deeply and extensively, that life is both exhilarating and tiring. The former would always outweigh the latter, though, because of the people with whom God has filled my life.
In July 1995, my daughter Shayelle turned five years old. We often engaged in many conversations then that centered on what she wanted to be when she grew up. I recall those discussions reflecting her innocence, but also her belief that she could do and be whoever and whatever she wanted. When she said she wanted to be a professional baseball player, I responded with, “Yes! Go for it!”
When Shayelle got a little older, I shared with her the idea of taking in all of what’s “out there,” emphasizing the importance of setting her sights on what fills her heart and sets her soul on fire. Regardless of what career she would choose, the important message I hoped she would always hear loud and clear was to give whatever she does everything she’s got while being her authentic self.
Those early conversations with my oldest daughter led to the creation of I Want to Be Just Me, a book I “sorta-kinda” published in 1998 for a school project. I was enrolled in a teacher education program and thought this would be perfect for an introduction to my first education course. Its theme, “Be yourself, your authentic self,” is exactly what I wanted to share with others, most especially with kids.
Shayelle was eventually blessed with two little sisters, Delani and Korrie. All three of my daughters have since grown up to be strong, confident, kind, and goal-oriented young women. I could write all day long about the joys of raising three girls, but I’ll save that for later.
One thing rang true and steadfast, however, throughout their upbringings. As Mom, I was ALWAYS committed to ensuring my girls grew up knowing that they could be whatever they wanted. They had the intelligence, demeanor, confidence, and grit to go for the gold, dream big, and achieve whatever goals they chose to pursue.
Admittedly, it wasn’t always easy. In fact, the kid-rearing experience can be quite difficult, and some do it better than others. Those others, like my husband and me, often end up with some hefty challenges along the way. But we made it through, and the rewards we reap now from the incredible outcomes with our three girls made it so worth it!
In fact, every time I think about my girls, I remember the importance of living life authentically. It wasn’t until I reflected on my own life experiences fully again, however, that I realized the importance of putting my book, I Want to Be Just Me, into professional print and practice, so that I can share the importance of living a life of authenticity even further. With everyone. Or at least everyone willing to listen.
One particular experience comes to mind that helped bring me to that realization. It was during my enrollment in “The Principalship,” a required course for obtaining school leadership credentials.
I loved this class and its professor. Let me say that again: I loved this class and its professor.
However, on the final day of this course, I was pulled aside.
The professor of this class that I loved told me that she believed I would make an exceptional school leader. BUT, if I wanted a seat at the interview table, I should highly consider:
- Taking off the heels. With me standing at 6’ 3”, the professor pointed out that most people would be intimidated by my height without them.
- Darkening my hair and calming my coiffure. My professor further noted that my platinum blonde hair and overly modern style would take away from my credibility, as people often see blondes and untraditionally styled leaders as either unintelligent or rabble-rousers.
- Toning down my clothing. My eclectic, electric, unique style would not be well received, in the professor’s opinion, by those leaders charged with finding the right candidate to lead their schools. She said I would undoubtedly stand out, but not in the way I intended or benefitted.
Hmmm…
I thought about her words. I wasn’t angry after hearing these suggestions; in fact, it was quite the contrary. I was grateful. I knew she had my best interests at heart. But after listening intently and thanking her profusely, I kindly responded:
“Not a chance in the world! No way will I sacrifice myself by turning into someone else simply to get a seat at the table. Nope. Not happening.”
And so, my story of leadership and the motivation for publishing this book were now set in full motion…
I Want to Be Just Me is now available, and I hope you check it out.
Its theme is a mindset that both children and adults can master. It’s the idea that you are free to dream and free to wonder.
You are special and unique. If you move and groove in this great big world as your authentic self, you will experience greater happiness, success, and productivity. Ultimately, you will make our world a better place.
I’m sharing this ➡️ video in which I show all the takes to illustrate that perfection is overrated. What’s most important to remember is to just be yourself. You are most beautiful as your authentic self! Imagine the difference we could make in the world if we all took a moment to spread a little love. It may seem small, but every act of kindness has the power to create a ripple effect of positivity. Let’s make a conscious effort to spread love and watch as our world transforms for the better! |
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